Ten days in Bali, got four days to go ten days of terror cos im glued to the throne,
And im shittin’ in litres and firin’ both ends, i’ll never shit solid again.
And its cost me a fortune for this holiday, stead of pissin’ it up,
christ, im shittin’ it away.
cause im glued to the loo while my mates are out raving, i’ll never shit solid again.
I’ll never shit solid again, or hold anything down for as long as i live,
cause me arse is jammed open from freckle fatigue, i’ll never shit solid again.
I called mum back home, she said mix up a cup of cornflour and gravox to
thicken it up,
then she pissed her self laughin and hung up the phone, i’ll never shit solid again.
Just had a crap and im wiping me ring, havent quite finished, start spewin’ again,
Jesus, hope i remember to use the right hand, i’ll never shit solid again.
i’ll never shit solid again, so i’ll rig up a faucet to stick up me ring,
at least when i fart i wont splatter me jeans, i’ll never shit solid again.
I’m doin’ cartwheels as i try to guess, a crap or a chunder christ whats comin’ next,
will it spray through me fingers or run down me leg, i’ll never shit solid again.
slipped on some shit a foot thick on the floor, skidded arse over tit,
then i spewed a bit more,
Now i gotta sift through it cause me denture fell in, i’ll never shit solid again.
I’ll never shit solid again, me rings hanging out and me guts have caved in,
i’ll be buried in a bucket and me mates will all sing…………………
“He’ll never shit solid again”
